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Funny Memorial Day Jokes, Messages, Meme, Humor Quotes, Sayings Pics

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Funny Memorial Day Jokes, Messages, Meme, Humor Quotes, Sayings Pics

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The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker among st themselves is that they don?t speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase ?secure the building?. The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

Vietnam Vet


A man was being interviewed for a job.

“Were you in the service?” asked the interviewer.

“Yes, I was a Marine,” responded the applicant.

“Did you see any active duty?”

“I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability.”

“May I ask what happened?”

“Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles.”

“You’re hired. You can start Monday at 10 am.”

The somewhat surprised applicant asked, “When does everyone else start? I don’t want any preferential treatment because of my disability.”

“Everyone else starts at 7 o’clock, but I should be honest with you,” explained the interviewer. “Nothing gets done before 10 o’clock because we just sit and scratch our balls trying to decide what to do first.”

an old veteran walked into a grocery store and the cashier said sir you barracks door is open. He paid no attention to her because he didn’t know what she was talking about. He started shopping and in this one aisle he saw a man stocking the shelves. He told the man what the cashier said and asked the man what she meant. He told him that his fly was open. After shopping he went back to the same cashier and said mam you told me my barracks door was open. While you were looking did you see a marine standing at attention, saluting. No sir she said i saw an old retired veteran lying on two sea bags.

The young Marine in a snide voice says to the old sailor, “I love you sailors. Whenever we go to fight, you give us a ride.” Causing raucous laughter in the bar. The old Chief looks over and says, “We love you guys to, giving you Marines a ride let the NAVY Brass believe it was OK to assign women to ships.”

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